Former Ugandan model Judith Heard has a message for women who use their platforms to advise younger women about relationships: heal first.
In a post on X, Heard urged women to deal with their own painful experiences before turning those experiences into lessons for the next generation.
Women who have gone through betrayal, abandonment, difficult marriages, childhood trauma, financial hardship or painful relationships can easily end up teaching from those experiences instead of from wisdom, she said.
Young women are listening, Heard warned, and they should not inherit the fears and bitterness of the women who came before them.
Her message was summed up in one line.
Heal first. Then advise.
She argued that women should not teach younger women that money equals character or view every relationship through the disappointments they have personally experienced.
Therapy, faith and honest self-reflection were also part of Heard’s advice as she urged women to confront the experiences that still hurt them.
Then came the part that added a little more spice to the post.
In the comments under her own message, Heard wrote:
Dear readers If the shoe fits, wear it.
No name came with the remark, and Heard did not say who she believed the “shoe” might fit.
Another post followed, keeping the focus on confronting painful truths and beginning the healing process.
ACCEPT THE TRUTH, AND IT SHALL SET YOU FREE. Healing begins when we stop running from the truth.
Whatever prompted the message, Heard’s point remained consistent across the posts: personal pain should not become the blueprint for how the next generation understands relationships.