Of Spinny and The Bag: Dear Kenyans, it is never that serious – Sqoop

It started, as most East African diplomatic incidents do these days, with WiFi and wounded pride.

One random evening, Ugandans logged onto their timelines only to find Kenya in full session over DJ Spinny’s episode of The Bag. The Bag (or #getinthebag) is a popular East African YouTube DJ mix series and cultural phenomenon, renowned for high-energy sets and exclusive event vibes,it was Episode 13 where DJ Spinny was a feature. Shot at 1420, a better hangout spot than many in Nairobi. Now, for context, half of Uganda was still asking, “The Bag? Like… a literal bag? Polythene, paper bag, A concept? A lifestyle?” One uncle in Najjera reportedly thought it was a SACCO.

Meanwhile, across the border, Kenyan DJs had convened what can only be described as a virtual UN General Assembly, but for transitions.

Apparently, they didn’t feel the way DJ Spinny was jumping from Bien’s Extra to Eleeh’s….. well there’s that song with beautiful ladies in the video and like a man who is look looking…

Someone said Uganda brought an intern DJ to The Bag, the disrespect; Spinny fills up shows and he also..kinda owns a bar or is the face of the bar, he’s a brand ambassador as well…. The point is DJ Spinny top nyooo.

On Facebook, one user declared:

“If this is The Bag, then please zip it back. Respectfully.”

On X (formerly Twitter, where respect goes to die), things escalated quickly:

“Ugandan DJs mix like they’re buffering. #TheBag”
“We said East African integration, not audio suffering.”

Threads, ever the soft-spoken cousin, tried diplomacy:

“Art is subjective, but also… was that a transition or a power outage?”

And then came LinkedIn. Yes, LinkedIn, the land of “delighted to announce” and “honoured to be part of this journey”, suddenly became a battlefield.

One Kenyan “Creative Director | Sonic Strategist | Thought Leader” posted:

“There’s a leadership lesson here. Excellence is a choice. Consistency is a discipline. Transitions are a responsibility.”

Ugandans, who barely complain about their bosses on LinkedIn, watched in silence, confused but entertained.

But the real question remained: was it ever that serious or does it always have to get to this when it comes to Kenyans and Ugandans?

Because this isn’t the first time Kenya has gathered like a family meeting to discuss Uganda. There was the time they debated whether Uganda is, in fact, a real place.

Well, It is. We checked.

We checked twice.

Then the infamous “Ugandans drink beer with a straw” thesis, which still lacks peer-reviewed evidence but refuses to die.

And let’s not forget cuisine wars. Somewhere in Nairobi, a man looked at matooke, soft, steamed, golden, and said, “No, this is not it,” before aggressively promoting ugali like it was a political campaign.

Even geography isn’t safe. On any given day, someone is ready to claim Lake Victoria, Mgingo Islands, and Mount Elgon like they’re items in a supermarket basket. At this point, if Uganda produces good weather, expect a think piece titled: “How Kenya Influenced That Breeze.”

And don’t get Ugandans started on talent. Give it a week and someone will argue that Jose Chameleone was “spiritually Kenyan,” or that Joshua Cheptegei “runs with Kenyan energy.” By next month, Stephen Kiprotich will be rebranded as a “regional asset,” alongside Joshua Baraka for good measure.

The only time Kenya has tried to gift us something it was some jama called Kasongo… who is Kasongo by the way?

So yes, maybe DJ Spinny’s transitions weren’t perfect. Maybe The Bag is still a confusing name that sounds like it came from a group chat that should have ended at “guys, hear me out…”

But did it deserve a full-blown cross-border symposium?

On YouTube, one commenter tried to restore order:

“Guys, it’s just vibes. Not a thesis defense.”

Exactly.

Because at the end of the day, Ugandans will still dance, we don’t even care about transitions and, we dance to news jingos… have you checked TikTok, we even dance to songs where the artists are asking us to cut our necks or hit our skulls with pavers…. like we shall continue being we (though, when you think about it, it’s unclear if dancing to these kind of songs is a flex or proof that we are not a real place), Kenyans will still critique, and East Africa will continue its favorite sport: competitive commentary.

And somewhere in Kampala, a DJ is probably renaming his next show.

Not The Bag.

Maybe The Zip.