Uganda’s military chief Gen. Muhoozi Kainerugaba has sent social media into a frenzy after joking that men who cannot last more than one minute in bed could be arrested and jailed.
In a series of posts on X, Muhoozi declared that men who fail to last beyond one minute during sex and cannot impregnate a woman would be treated as “useless men” and targeted for arrest.
“If you can’t last more than 1 minute and impregnate a woman we are going to arrest you! You are a useless man!” Muhoozi posted.
He did not stop there.
The Chief of Defence Forces went on to announce a supposed two-month deadline for the men to surrender themselves.
“Known/identified useless men must report to the nearest Police Station in 2 months. From there they will be transported to a Government prison,” he wrote.
Muhoozi later doubled down, warning: “You are laughing but I’m giving exactly 2 months for useless men to hand themselves over peacefully.”
He also joked that men who “consistently do nothing with women” would face a one-year prison term.
“And for useless men who consistently do nothing with women. We are introducing a 1 year prison term,” he posted.
The bizarre threats then took a tax twist.
Muhoozi joked that women should begin timing their partners and that any man who fails to last one minute would have to pay Shs100,000 to the woman and another Shs100,000 to the Uganda Revenue Authority (URA).
“Women should start timing their men. If they don’t finish 1 minute they owe you 100,000 shillings. They also owe URA 100,000 shillings,” he said.
He later dubbed the imaginary levy the “Struggle tax”, writing in Luganda: “Tuli mu Sturrraaggllle tax!”
The posts appeared to be a humorous exchange rather than an announcement of an actual Government policy.
There is no known Ugandan law requiring men to meet a particular sexual-performance time, and there is no Government tax based on how long a person lasts during sexual intercourse.
But Muhoozi deliberately used the language of Government enforcement, repeatedly invoking the Police, prisons and URA as he built up the joke.
The CDF also dragged food into the unusual conversation.
He said some of his civilian friends had advised him that eating matooke and beans, rather than cornflakes and milk, could help men “in some other departments of life.”
“It is said apparently, bazungu are collapsing in,” he added.
He followed that with another food-related punchline:
“Certainly, you can’t impregnate a woman on cornflakes and milk. No way.”
Muhoozi then announced, again in a humorous tone, that the intake of kalo for soldiers would be increased immediately.
“We are increasing the intake of Kalo for our soldiers immediately,” he posted.
The series of posts quickly created a mixture of amusement, debate and disbelief online, with the CDF’s comments attracting attention because of his senior position in the country’s security establishment.
Muhoozi is not only Uganda’s Chief of Defence Forces, but also overseer of the Patriotic League of Uganda (PLU) and an increasingly prominent political figure.
His social-media statements therefore regularly attract wider public attention than those of an ordinary social-media user.
The latest remarks also come at a particularly politically active moment for Muhoozi.
He publicly declared that he intends to contest for President of Uganda in the 2031 general elections.
His political ambitions have since been formally amplified by PLU, with Executive Secretary and Kasambya County MP Daudi Kabanda announcing that the organisation had begun mobilising support for Muhoozi’s 2031 bid.
The contrast between the serious political developments surrounding Muhoozi and his latest playful posts has once again shown his unconventional use of social media.
